Deconstructor Fleet: Slow

     I'm generally slow in my movements, Most of the time Speed involves messes and mistakes, so I try to take my time.  But if I recognize that a situation requires me to be fast, I can do it,I would just have tunnel vision, focusing only on the task at hand and being somewhat anti-social and reserved.  Being slow has made me be perceived as non observant and sometimes strange  I'm only one of these things and that is strange. It takes me a while to warm up to people, and I suck at small talk, so I limit myself to being direct, or listening.  It takes me a bit to get comfortable with someone, unless we already have something that connects us.

     Being slow is a deterrent sometime.   I have seen so many people move fast without thinking and then crash and bring people down with them.  I'm afraid of the damage I'll do to others more so then myself if I make a mistake.   I think this stemmed from being sheltered for a good part of my childhood. Outside of school, I only interacted with my family, which consisted of me, my sister and my grandparents with my mom occasionally visiting.  This change when my grandmother died, I was eight at the time and didn't fully understood the event, as much as I feared it. Death was just a end, to me when I was eight. ( My grandmother took us to church, but I don’t think much of it stuck since I was eight at the time.) I remember that  me, my mom and sister almost got into a car crash shortly after my grandmother's death.  We served into a parking lot, there was yelling, but all I remember is me shouting “I don't want to die!”  Death to my eight year old self was just black.  There was explanation, like how she was in a better place, But when I look back at her death, it had a major effect on me and my family. All I had and knew was my family at the time. I think it was at this point I started to seek something with other people outside of my immediate and extended family to figure out things.

Being slow for me helps me appreciate things,but it can also be my greatest roadblock, because it let other things slip by.